Recently, I saw a tweet from a fellow woman in student affairs about 10 rules for brilliant women by Tara Mohr. In many ways, I struggle to let myself “shine.” Like many other women, I am my own harshest critic, I take care of others before I take care of me…the usual.
I signed up to receive Tara Mohr’s workbook. Every couple of days, I conveniently received the next “rule” and a series of journal prompts to get me thinking about and integrating this rule into my core. Conveniently enough, I am just getting back around to rule number one. The exciting thing, though, is that I was honored to participate in an amazing conference call with Tara about “Playing Big,” organized by the wonderful women of #WLSalt and WISA. It was so powerful. I can’t wait to explore all of these rules to their fullest.
Rule #1: Make a Pact
This rule asked me to think about the things I have given and done for the people I love most in my life. It then asked what it would look like if I received all of those things. The next question asked about what kind of relationship I would like with myself. Here’s what I came up with:
I would like to be an ally, a cheerleader, a critical thinker, a stress reliever, and a kind friend
To be these things, I will need to let go of a few of the roles I am playing in my current relationship with myself, including a tough critic, a judgmental foe, and a worrying voice.
Assignment for Rule #1:
Each day this week, pick one of your five descriptors for your new relationship with yourself, and use that phrase as your touchstone, your guidepost for how you relate to yourself.
So, this week, I’ll be focusing on my relationship with myself. Monday is being an ally, Tuesday a cheerleader, Wednesday a critical thinker, Thursday a stress reliever, and Friday a kind friend. I know that I give these things to the loved ones and others in my life. Time to see if I can give them to myself.
Tara’s advice: Changing our relationship with ourselves is much easier said than done. Of course it’s not enough to just write the intentions, and pick the words. But the words matter. Setting intentions matters. Creating a vision for a different kind of relationship with ourselves matters. All of that makes a difference.
Ready, set, go! ekt